When It Feels Like This
by ME3Free
Summary: How can I resist when it feels like this? My whole life I have been taught and prepared for the unexpected, but when he stumbled right into it, I couldn't hold any defense. What do you do when someone you've been told to stay away from finds ways to make you laugh? To hold my hand? How do you stay away when it feels like this? Rated T for some swearing, adult topics, and themes.
1. Dear Reader

**When It Feels Like This**

Written by ME3Free

_Dear Reader,_

_I wanted to share with you a story that has been running around in my brain for what feels like years. The concept isn't new or perhaps has been told numerous times, however, I wanted to share with you my version. The idea to write this series, which will hopefully turn into a six-story installment, came from listening to Maisie Peters song Feels Like This endlessly in my bedroom when I should be studying for midterms. The story wouldn't leave my mind, though, nor would the song stop playing repeatedly. I knew I had to write it. That I had to share it. _

_Annabeth Chase is without a doubt my favorite character in the Percy Jackson series. I am currently in my twenties and have been reading this series since it first came out in 2005. I have been reading this series for over a decade. I feel old … but my love for this story has never faded and I don't think it ever will. _

_Annabeth, to me, is a complex character that has gone through some shit in her life. All the characters, I feel, have some baggage. Annabeth, to me, just stood out more because she never really played with that baggage. She accepted it and moved on. I, having such similar problems with Annabeth, was very moved by that. I felt that strength and decided that I needed to find my own if I was ever going to let it go. I did and have never felt freer. So, I thank you, Rick, for writing such an amazing character that little preteen like me could make a difference in my life. _

_This story is about Annabeth. I wanted to explore more about Annabeth, her struggles with her identity, her relationships, and just her growing up in a complicated world. This isn't some kid version; I'm going to make it as real as possible with real shit that happens. This is not kid friendly. Notice my swearing, so I'm going to say it again: THIS IS NOT KID FRIENDLY. I am going to talk about real world topics such as racism, drugs, attempted sexual assuaslt, asshats, bullying, drinking, depression, etc. This is a coming of age story, really. Annabeth, in the beginning, is fifteen-year-old girl trying to find her place in the world. I'm not really going to explain much about the story because I want to keep some things as a surprise. I just want you to enjoy my version of things, to read a story. _

_I do not own this world Rick has created nor will I ever lay claim to it. If you enjoy the story, leave a review. If you didn't enjoy it, leave a review. If you want to comment that this is nothing like Percy Jackson and I have done a shitty job, you can leave a review, but don't you think it is a little odd to be commenting on the fact this isn't like Percy Jackson? I'm not Rick. I am me. Also, just putting it out there, yes, I know they are twelve in the start. I have read this book for over a decade; I know the series well. Perhaps some facts do get mixed up or I just make up my own. Oh well. This is my version I am sharing; I am just borrowing the lovely world Rick has created. _

_Sincerely,_

_ME3Free_

_P.S. I am hoping to get the first chapter or preface (haven't decided) up either tomorrow or this week. I am hoping to update this story weekly, like every Sunday, but sometimes life happens. I won't be making promises if I cannot keep them. I look forward to going on this journey with you! _


	2. Preface

When It Feels Like This

Preface

I had felt him before I saw him. I don't understand how or why but I could always tell when he was near. At times, he'd be freaked out about it, but mostly, disappointed that he could never sneak up on me for one of his stupid pranks. I, on the other hand, always felt comfort from it. He never felt far, and when he was near, I never felt such calm wash over me. I don't know if it would be a cliché to say but his presence always reminded me of the ocean. I could feel the ocean spray across my face, the gentle breeze brushing pass me, and the caress of a wave as it surrounded me. The smell, the sight, the touch—I felt it all whenever he was near.

For the first time since he stumbled into my life, his presence was unwelcomed. I watched him, frantically weaving through the crowd from my window spot on the bus. His black hair, which is usually a mess, was pulled in all different directions. He must have ran his hands through his hair a million times today. His eyes, those sea-green eyes, were a shade darker. Worry has marked his face.

His worry about me.

Grover must have told him I would be here today. Grover could never keep a secret that he didn't agree with. It never took him long to slip, especially if food was used as bribery.

I never thought pain could fester within by simply watching someone walk through a crowd. With each shout of my name that escaped his lips, another stab of pain shot through me. How easy would it be for me to get off this bus and approach him? How easy would it be for me to reach out and touch him? To explain why I have to leave … why I can't say goodbye. How easy would it be to open this window and shout out his name?

_Percy_.

That's all there is to it. I could literally feel the tip of the word on my mouth until I felt the water. Water? Why is there water on my face? I reached up my hand and felt it. The tears that I have unknowingly released was falling down my face, right into my mouth, and then right onto my lap. How long have I been crying? I don't know. I don't know anything. Why is this happening? Why am I feeling like this?

Why?

I placed my hand over my mouth before a sob could escape. I don't sob and I hardly cry. However, one is happening and the second is coming on soon simply because of one man's name. Why am I doing this to myself? Why feel such pain when I can simply go to him? I want too. I just need to pull down that window and shout his name.

How can I resist when it feels like this?


End file.
